the days were golden

Dear ex-best friend,

I wish you had your “ask” box available to write in, because I’d really love to post something on your tumblr. It’s not, however, so I’m just going to blurt out all my anger right here, right now.

You were a shitty friend. You gave me bad advice and let me do the terrible things I did. You never helped me when I needed you, you never told me the truth straight up. It’s funny that you stopped contact with me the moment I moved BACK to Alhambra. When we could actually hang out all the time and when I needed you most, you decided I wasn’t worth your time. I tried getting in touch with you countless times, but you blew me off every chance you got. And then Ms. Maloney got sick and I needed you more, and you made excuses. And then she fucking DIED and you couldn’t bother to go to her fucking FUNERAL. What a self-obsessed bitch you are. What a slutty, selfish, excuse-ridden cunt of a human being you are. I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “cunt” to describe anyone before until now. You treat people like shit. You treated your ex like shit and if bad things happen to you later on in life, you’ll know that’s karma taking its toll on you. I’ve done bad things, yes, but I realized they were bad and paid the price and allowed karma to do its thing quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. But your karma wound is going to fester and becoming infected and…I’m so angry I can’t even finish my thought. 

We used to hang out almost every day. We used to talk every day. You used to care about Alhambra and the band program. You used to care about important things. But now all you care about is sex and smoking and drinking and yourself. We used to talk about being best friends forever and having kids at the same time and buying them matching pink Vans. But apparently I’m not worth your time anymore. Apparently your new awesome life is waaaaay more important than our friendship ever was to you. 

Basically, what I’m trying to say is 

go fuck yourself

Yaaaaaaargh >.<

I’ve been trying to lighten my hair for the past 14 hours (with bleach, of course) and I’ve been scared this whole time that it would lighten up TOO much. However, my stupid hair is remaining dark blonde. What. Is. This.

Oh, and poor Pam ):

My thoughts on tonight’s True Blood:

Honestly, I’m starting to really love Eric. He’s like a big floppy puppy or something. Or he should be wearing a hat with a spinny thing on top while riding a tricycle. I don’t know, I think he’s so cute (in a “I want to squeeze your cheeks” sort of way). He loves Sookie, and so does Bill, but…I don’t know. Eddie and Lupe were both pretty mad about the sex thing…but…I don’t know. I like Eric now. Bill is all up on himself now and power hungry and he had sex with who knows how many girls…

I’ve decided. It’s Team Eric for me :D

I hate not finding the time to exercise properly.

I feel like crap. Oh gwell. Tomorrow is a new day!

But I had such a great day with Eddiiiiieeeeeee!

Team Eric or Team Bill?

I honestly can’t choose.

Ugh…

Too much food today…period.

Not enough exercise today…period.

Uuuuuuugh I feel like crap.

I will exercise tonight.

I’m completely exhausted.

I woke up early-ish. I ate a good breakfast. I exercised. My triceps are RIDICULOUSLY sore right now. I’ve been focusing a lot on toning my arms/stomach. I walked super fast to band rehearsal with my laptop case, so my calves/shins are also super sore from the extra weight I was carrying. I stood on my feet all day, full of energy while I was teaching. The band gave me NO energy in return. It’s so hard to spend 5 days teaching at a place where every student out of 100 is in love with band and then to go back to the band I teach for and see a bunch of lifeless zombies (is that redundant? Who cares). I got to my booster meeting and wanted to fall asleep. I had a very nutritious meal of cheese fries -_____-, butterscotch pudding -___________-, chips and salsa, and a green smoothie.

Poopballs.